Blame the Dog

For the last two decades I have been driving nothing but outdated piles of crap.  Then recently I purchased a car that actually has some of the modern luxuries’.  Leather seats, steering wheel controls for the stereo and cruise control, heated seats, and remote start to name a few.   I still have not owned a car built in the same decade I am currently living, but at least this current one is of the same century.  Aside from being a belly button car (everyone has one), it like the car, but there is one luxury I do not understand.

Dual climate controls.  The first time I saw this I shook my head in disbelief.  To the best of my knowledge, not many cars are divided down the middle with a Plexiglas partition.  Certain cars are divided front and rear with said divider.  Of those, some you pay to ride in and they are painted yellow, others can cost you dearly to ride in, and are usually painted black and white.  However, the dual climate control I am talking about is not for the rear passengers.  In some cases, that would make more sense.  Large SUV’s and minivans can justify dual zone (front/rear) but a midsize passenger car.

Hell, a full-size luxury car can’t justify this silly marketing ploy.

The presumption of this concept is that the passenger and driver can maintain their own individual comfort levels, hot or cold.  Some of the more luxurious sedans have dual fan controls.  Now I do not have the dual fan controls, but I do have the dual heat controls.

Before I ever owned a vehicle with this option, I deemed it stupid.  Now that I have driven, and own a vehicle with this feature, I have confirmed it is stupid.  It is the time of year where most of us in northern climates will turn the temperature setting to the max, and the fan on high.  To verify my belief that the warm air from the passenger side may have some influence on the driver’s side, I performed a test.  Once the temperature inside my car reached a comfortable level, I turned down the heat, but only for the driver.  Low and behold, it was not long before I reached a level of sweaty discomfort.  Reach down and adjust the passenger side to match the drivers, and boom, the car cools off.

Even as I write this, I try and figure out a scenario when this will actually work.  After all, if you fart, does the stink stay on your side of the car?  Hell, if you are a conscientious passer of gas, and crack the window first, you still may offend the pretty girl sitting next to you.

That last statement assumes the dog only passes gas when there is a woman in the room.

I get that automobile makers need to keep coming up with luxuries that distinguish their cars from the others, but let’s get real.  We are talking about an average of 150 cubic feet, and the driver and passenger are separated by mere inches.

Unless Tesla can come up with an energy shield that environmentally separates the driver and passenger, while still allowing social interaction, let’s table this stupid luxury item.  Then I will be impressed.

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