Well, I just survived my fist Valentines weekend as a single man in twenty years.
It is safe to say, there was absolutely no pressure on me to come up with a romantic gift. Didn’t have to pretend to feel romantic. I did not spends a single second trying to scratch out a meaningful little poem because I am too broke to by a meaningful gift.
I didn’t have to entertain a single romantic thought.
I didn’t have to, but it is in my nature to do so, whether I want to or not. It doesn’t matter if Hallmark set aside a day that forces us to acknowledge how lucky we are that some beautiful woman gives us her attention. I wear my heart on my sleeve and don’t need Hallmarks blessing to fancy romantic notions.
What does it mean to entertain romantic notions when you have no one? Recently divorced from a relationship that was far from blissful.
It means you spend a three day weekend that just happens to hold Valentine’s Day as one of those three days, wondering if you are going to find that special person before all your hair turns gray.
As I lamented in Mid-life Single, it is turning out to be a lot harder to meet someone than I thought it would be.
I am a great guy, many woman have told me that, but how does someone you haven’t met find that out. She is judging you by a profile pic, what you write about yourself, and how big you claim your paycheck is.
She isn’t going to believe you are one because your headline says, “I am friends with many woman, and they will all tell you I am a great guy.”
Don’t get me wrong. I am in no hurry. My separation is a year old, my divorce just a couple of months. I am just as happy being alone, as I am being with someone.
I get so much more done when I am alone, and don’t mind my own company.
It just that, at this later stage in life, it’s hard not to believe, someone else snatched up my special lady. In my brief foray into internet dating, I saw dozens of woman with great profiles. What I keep asking myself is…what went wrong. There is only two people in a marriage, so the odds are 50% that the one you are looking at was the problem.
Who would put into their profile, “my ex thinks I am a raging bitch because after twelve years of marriage, I never said a kind word to him, no matter how hard he tired.”
Yeah, not going to happen.
Another reason I fear all the good ones are gone. Some of my deepest loves have been for woman who are already in a committed relationship. No, I don’t go out there seeking out other men’s wives. These women were/are friends. Whether they are former classmates, or coworkers. We met through the course of our daily lives, and a friendship develops.